Language For Collaboration

Here are my takeaways from the L. David Marquet book Leadership is Language about Collaboration.

Collaboration requires us to share ideas, be vulnerable, and respect the ideas of others. Collaboration happens through the questions we ask and requires that we admit that we do not have the whole picture, and others can contribute to the idea.

Here are some ways to collaborate

Move from coercion to collaboration

Let doers be deciders that enable collaboration and collaboration results in commitment because the team is making the decision. True collaboration sounds like “What does everyone think? Write it down on a card before I contaminate you with what i think or even the group discussion.”

Vote first, then discuss

Conduct blind electronic polling

Ask probabilistic questions instead of binary ones.
Don’t ask
– Is it safe?
– Will it work? 
– Do you know Spanish? 
Ask
– How safe is it?
– How likely is it to work? 
– How well do you know Spanish?

Using number cards e.g. 1,2,3,4,5 to get input after tell what 1 means and what 5 means and then discuss
– Invite outliers to share their ideas with the group
– What do you see that we don’t?
– What is behind that vote?

Never ask, “what will make you turn your no to yes? This question gives the message that “we are going this way, how can we overcome your objections?”

Use dot voting on multiple ideas shared to decide what to choose 

Use fist of five voting 

Be curious not compelling

Seek first to understand, then be understood. Ask better questions. 

When the team tells what they intend to do, do not right away say that you are wrong without knowing the reasons. Also do not ask “why” as why also give the impression that you do not agree and need explanation.

Avoid the following types of questions:

Question stacking
Question stacking is asking the same question in multiple ways at the same time or drilling down a logic tree that defines the problem according to your thinking. Instead try one and done, stop at first question

Example of questions stacking is “So how much testing has been done? I mean, do we really have all the bugs identified? I think it’s important to know that are we good to go?”

Another example: We really need to understand why clients don’t buy this service and what our team is doing about it, whether it is to do with our communication or it is because we do not have enough skills or do they think it is not important enough?

Leading question
Don’t ask the question in the way that you know the answer already and you want to judge if the other person really knows the right answer or not. e.g. Have you thought about the needs of the client?

Instead have a learning moment for you and ask the question with the assumption that the other person is seeing what you are not seeing.

Start the question with inquisitive how e.g. “How would that work?”, “how does that align with our objectives?”

Why question
“Why” question puts people in defensive mode. Instead ask what and how questions

Instead of asking “why would you want to do that?” ask “What is behind your decision?” or “how do you see the issue?” or “tell me more about it”

Dirty Question
It is like a leading question but does not carry the message that the other person is wrong but carries the anticipation of a particular answer. e.g. asking “do you have the courage to stand up to them?” instead ask questions like “what do you mean by….” or “what do you want to have happen?”

Binary Question
Don’t ask the question with only yes or no answer. Like “Is it safe?” 

Ask questions starting with what or how. e.g.
– How safe is it?
– What might go wrong?
– What do we need before we are ready for launch?

Self-affirming question
It is a binary question with motivation to coerce agreement and make us feel good about the decision. The purpose is to make the asker feel good rather than to reveal the truth about the situation.
Examples are
– We are good to launch. Right?
– You know what I am saying?
– It’s going to be between these two right?
– Does that make sense?
– Do you have what you need?
– All good?
– Did you have a wonderful stay?

Instead seek enlightenment by asking questions that make it easy to bring up challenging information e.g.
– What am I missing?
– What would you like to hear more about?
– What could go wrong?
– What could we do better?

Aggressive questioning
Instead of jumping to the future start with present, past and then future

Instead of asking “what should we do now?” ask
– How do you see this situation?
– How did we get here?
– What happened before this?

Invite dissent rather then drive consensus

Invite dissenting opinions and not push people into compliance, so instead of asking “Does this make sense?” or “Right?” ask
– What was unclear?
– What would you like to hear more about?
– What didn’t sound right to you?
– How do you see it differently?

Instead of arguing with the dissenter and explaining why he is wrong, as curious questions
– What is behind what you are saying?
– Can you tell us more about that?

Make it safe and easy for people to dissent

Give information not instructions

Example: Instead of saying “park here” say “I see a parking space here”

Give information and ask for information instead of instructions. Give control to the team after assuring that there is technical competence and clarity of the goal. Team does not need to ask for permission but only provides the information on what they intend to do. E.g. I intend to submerge the ship, and it is safe because these steps are taking place. And it is the right thing to do because it is based on clarity.