Managing Work Interactions

Half of our lives are spent at work and with people we work with. It’s really important to make sure that what you do and make is enjoyable. Sometimes work becomes hard due to the people we are working with. Knowing how to manage your work interactions and how to keep yourself focused on your goal instead of the sometimes unnecessary noise created by people working around you is very important.

Here are some nuggets I got from the HBR book Office Politics. Open and clear communication and being positive in every interaction are the keys.

• Do not be to quick to dub a work relation to failure before taking your share of responsibility to fix it.
• Interpret events and interactions positively. Do not rush to point fingers.
• Knowing about the interactions a person has with others helps you not take everything personally.
• If your boss has a pet, don’t fret or complain about it. Build your own connection. Whining and negative vibes will not get you anywhere.
• Be clear about your priorities and if it is not clear, ask.
• If you want to be top of mind, boost your visibility. Give others credit where it is due but also take your own credit.
• Tap into the strength of your coworkers and praise them when they make good contributions.
• Do not just highlight the problems; suggest a solution too. Be proactive.
• Some of us do come across hyper-competitive peers. The first step is to deal with them by giving them the benefit of the doubt and considering whether you have done anything accidentally to provoke that behaviour. If you are not invoking that behaviour, do not ignore it and have a constructive conversation with the person, saying that you have identified a problem and need help in resolving it. You can involve others too when talking to the competitive person, as there will be other people impacted by that behavior too.
• If someone tries to belittle you in a meeting, make sure not to ignore it. Any behaviour that is ignored increases. Respond by saying something like this. “I realize that it is your point of view. I would be interested in hearing what others think.” You can contact the person privately about it too, asking, “What was that about?” Keeping your tone very consistent.
• Remember to always advocate for yourself and be clear about your goals and improvement plan.
• If you come across a bully, first make sure you are not projecting a motive that is not there. After confirming, ask, “You seem…is there something we should talk about?“ or “in today’s meeting… I have noticed that behaviour in last week’s meeting too. I am concerned about the way we are interacting. Can we talk about how we have been working together so that we can be more effective?” Or wrap what you want to say in sugar.” You asked some great questions in the morning but your tone was very harsh. I am wondering, Was there a problem?” Remember, most bullies do not like confrontation.
• Always call out bullying behaviour, as most people may feel it is impolite to point that behaviour out but it is important to do so. Always be ok saying no.
• If someone continuously takes credit for your work, start by pointing out the behaviour. E.g., when you presented the report, I was surprised that you mentioned “I stayed up all night,” but in fact, I was working equally with you. Clear communication is very important.
• Do not mention every credit you did not get; sometimes there is a long-term benefit. Be patient.
• Sometimes sharing what motivates you with your manager is very helpful.
• If a colleague asks you a question that is confidential and you should not be sharing it, don’t respond. Think about whether your boss would like you to share that information with someone. You can end the conversation by saying, “It’s not appropriate for me to say right now” or “You know I can’t share confidential information with you. Please don’t keep asking me. I promise I’ll fill you in when the time is right.
• Before going into problem-solving mode, make sure there is actually a problem to solve. Stepping back and doing a reality check is very important.
• Respect is most important for job satisfaction. Build a relationship of respect with your colleagues. Anger, avoidance, and sabotage are all paths to failure.
• Try to understand others by putting yourself in their shoes.
• When you want to provide feedback to someone, make sure you inform them ahead of time and ask for permission. E.g., I would like to give you some feedback about how I think we can work together better. Would 9:00 am be a good time for you to meet?
• If you find it hard to work with someone, be open to that person and start the conversation by clarifying your intentions, e.g., I really want to work effectively with you. That is my goal. But I have felt that isn’t possible at the moment. Here are the reasons that I am feeling this way: “State the facts about the situations and do not label people.

Happy working and add positivity to each interaction. What would you add to this list?